


The Angle of the Dangle

by JMProfio



Category: Pendragon - D. J. MacHale
Genre: I would die on the spot, M/M, also this has references to Tumblr rp blog interactions, and I run one of the rp blogs, and be hung like a goddamn horse, and the person running the Dane blog also ships Bobby/Dane, at least I really ship Bobby/Dane, because he's a shapeshifter and he's vain, don't ever show him this please, i get really rambly in these tags, inspired entirely by a hypothetical about a fictional villain's penis size, let him believe Pendragon fans are good people, so he'd have perfect skin and washboard abs, so it was bound to happen, the Tumblr Pendragon fandom is small and really ships Bobby/Dane, this story falls squarely into the category of "don't let the original author know this exists"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7225084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JMProfio/pseuds/JMProfio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A beach story inspired entirely by a fan theory I came up with the other day, because I am an awful person and I lost all morals years ago. Also contains references to the Tumblr blogs @JournalsFromSecondEarth and @KingOfHalla, and just so much Bobby/Dane shipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angle of the Dangle

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I already explained this in the tags but here I go again. This entire thing came about because I was thinking about how Dane can shapeshift, and he's also the vainest motherfucker in the universe. So at first I thought "well he probably has perfect skin and washboard abs", then that little dark part of my brain that likes to ruin things had to add "And I bet he's hung like a horse" and I got stuck thinking about that for waaaaaay too long. So yeah, this entire thing was inspired by my inability to stop thinking about demon dick. I am so sorry.

The beach was amazing this time of year. Bobby grinned from ear to ear, his eyes already fixed on the shimmering sand and the sparkling blue water even as his companion followed along in stubborn silence.

“Isn't this great?” He asked. “I haven't been to a beach since…. Well, now that I think about it, I haven't really been to a beach since we were on Ibara.”

“That wasn't exactly a tropical vacation,” Dane replied, grimacing up at the sun as if his disapproval would change the weather. 

Bobby frowned, turning to look at the ex-demon. “You know, you could at least  _ try _ to have fun.”

The blue eyed man scowled back. “ _ Fun  _ is not something I associate with stripping down in scorching heat to splash around like a child.”

“Bet you're fun at parties,” Bobby replied sarcastically. “Come on, we've gotta go change, then I told Mark and Courtney we'd all meet up for lunch.”

He began heading for the changing rooms, but Dane remained rooted in place.

“You don't  _ honestly _ expect me to wear a bathing suit?” He asked.

The younger man grinned. “Well you can't just spend the day in your usual getup. Without your powers you're gonna get heat stroke within the hour.”

“I don't even  _ have _ a bathing suit.”

The grin widened. “Oh, don't worry. I picked one out for you yesterday.”

* * *

 

Bobby leaned against the outside of the changing rooms, checking his phone again before glancing over his shoulder to see if the demon had decided to emerge. Nothing. Another ten minutes passed, and still Dane hadn’t left the changing room.

From the direction of the parking lot, he spotted Mark and Courtney and waved them over. They waved back, then walked quickly over to where he was leaning.

“What’s up?” Mark asked. “I thought we were gonna grab something to eat after you got here?”

“Yeah,” Bobby replied. “But there’s a problem.”

Courtney frowned slightly. “A problem? Did something happen?”

“Nothing major,” he replied. “I just can’t get Mr. Too-Good-For-The-Beach to come out and show us the swimsuit I bought him.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you even convinced him to come along. Why are you so deadset on being nice to the guy?”

Bobby began to answer, then hesitated as he remembered   that, as far as his friends knew, the invitation to bring Dane along was simply a random act of kindness. He hadn’t quite told them about the recent developments that had taken place over the past month, or the details of how he had discovered that Saint Dane was still alive by finding the demon’s blog on a popular social media site. Though he was definitely planning to, at some point, explain to his two best friends how he found himself in a romantic relationship with the demon, Bobby hadn’t quite found the proper time and place to let them know. It wasn’t a conversation likely to go over very well, if Uncle Press’s reaction had been any indication.

He responded to his friend’s questioning looks with a shrug. “I dunno. Guess I thought he needed to get out some.” He turned toward the door of the changing room and stepped into the shade. “I’m gonna go check on him, alright? He’s been in there a while.”

“Want me to go too?” Courtney asked. “Don’t want him trying anything.”

Bobby shook his head. “I’ll be fine. You guys decide where you wanna get lunch, okay?”

His friends eyed him warily, but trusted his judgement and let him enter the changing rooms alone. He sighed a secret sigh of relief--this would be much easier without having to explain his and the demon’s current relationship.

“Hey, Dane?” he called out as he entered the locker-lined room. “Everything going okay in here?”

“I suppose you could say that,” Dane replied.

As the demon turned to face the younger man, Bobby stopped dead in his tracks, staring. The ex-Traveler’s intent when buying the suit--if you could even call it that, considering--had almost certainly been humorous. It would be good for a laugh, he had thought. After all, what could be funnier than seeing the seven foot tall, silver-haired demon wearing a bright red speedo with a black star printed on the hip?

But as he actually  _ looked _ at the tall, surprisingly muscular man, he realized that more than just being attractive, Saint Dane was  _ hot _ . And, if the tight swim material was any indication, the demon was also  _ very  _ well endowed.

Bobby felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. “You, uh, you look good.”

Dane smirked slightly. “I’m surprised you can tell with your eyes fixed to the floor.”

The blush intensified. The younger man cleared his throat nervously and forced himself to look back at the demon’s face. His  _ face _ . Bobby was having a considerably hard time focusing on the bright blue eyes.

The silver haired man approached him, still smirking, until they were standing face to face. “Is something…  _ distracting _ you?”

“Nope,” Bobby answered quickly, fighting the urge to look down. “It’s just… very hot in here. We should go outside. Where there’s air.”

Dane hummed lightly under his breath, leaning over the shorter man. “And let your friends see you blushing like that? No…” He ran one hand lightly over Bobby’s burning cheeks. “I think we should stay in here a while longer.”

He pressed their lips together, and Bobby kissed back hungrily, his hands reaching up to press against the pale man’s chest. The demon’s hands slid gently around the younger man’s waist, gliding across bare skin in a manner that made the younger man gasp slightly.

The moment was interrupted as someone nearby cleared their throat, and Bobby pulled away so quickly that he smacked his arm against the wall. Wincing in pain, he turned to see Mark and Courtney watching the two with dumbstruck surprise. They gaped from their blushing friend to the significantly less surprised demon, neither able to form a coherent response to what they had just seen.

Bobby fumbled for words, cursing his own carelessness for getting so swept up in the moment. “I, um, uh… I can explain.”

“You’d  _ better _ explain,” Courtney responded. “When I said I didn’t want him trying anything, I wasn’t expecting…  _ this _ .” She gestured vaguely between the two men. “Bobby, are you seriously involved with him? After what he  _ did _ ?”

Dane stepped in between the two, completely calm. “I assumed he’d told you already.”

“You stay out of this!” she snapped. “This is between us and… um…” Her voice trailed off as she took in the demon’s swimwear, and in moments her face was nearly as red as Bobby’s. “ _ What _ are you wearing.”

Bobby mumbled bashfully, “I… bought it for him. I thought it’d be funny.”

Mark stared at the muscular man with wide eyes, his face beet red. “Funny is  _ not _ the word that comes to mind. The first I thought of was…  _ flattering. _ ”

“That’s one way to put it,” Courtney agreed. “Unexpected, that’s for sure.”

“Definitely distracting,” Bobby mumbled, his eyes drifting to the most notable part of the demon’s wardrobe. Dane caught his gaze and smirked, and the Traveler looked away quickly, the blush rising back across his cheeks. “Anyways. Um… lunch. We were all gonna get lunch.”

Mark and Courtney both nodded enthusiastically, moving quickly to exit the suddenly very claustrophobic room. Bobby looked over at Dane, forcing his gaze to lock onto the icy blue eyes.

“That could have gone better,” he said. “Not exactly how I wanted them to find out we’re dating.”

The demon nodded in agreement. “No doubt this will be a very intense lunch.” He laughed slightly to himself, then raised his eyebrows and cast the younger man a suggestive look. “For more reasons than one, it seems.”


End file.
